My teenage son has been allergic to milk products his entire life. His reaction is pretty intense…immediate vomiting, drop in blood pressure, turning white as a ghost…all from a thimble-full of milk or a bite of cheese.  He is part of an allergy research study group and every year he spends a day in the hospital ingesting tiny amounts of milk and being observed, poked, and prodded for hours. And every year after a very overwhelming and unpleasant reaction, it is determined that he is still quite allergic. Today he went for his annual milk challenge at the hospital.

I have a ritual with him before each milk challenge where I speak directly to his stomach and say “Do not fear the cheese” (because he was given a piece of string cheese during his first milk challenge when he was two years old). I  joke that maybe if we could talk to those crazy people inside his stomach that think milk products are harmful, we could convince them they are not. And even though he now thinks this ritual is quite ridiculous, he acquiesces because he knows how happy it would make  me to see him enjoy a cheeseburger or an ice cream cone.

But his take on his allergies is entirely different. Since he has never been able to have milk or milk products before, he has acquired tastes for the things he can eat. He can have a frozen desert made of soy instead of ice cream or a fruit-based piece of candy instead of milk chocolate. For him, it’s just life as he has always known it and he doesn’t seem to care all that much if a pint of Ben & Jerry’s is in his future.

My son makes compromises every day without even realizing that he is making compromises. Today, this realization made me think about job seekers who often get frustrated if they can’t get a package that is similar to the one they had in their last job.  The issue may be anything from a lower compensation package, a shift to a less glamorous industry, or a smaller expense account. We often base our expectations for what we want on what we had before and perhaps even took for granted. But if we never had those things as a point of reference, it wouldn’t be as devastating to give them up. If we could shift our mindset to realize that there may be a substitute for something we can’t have in our next job, maybe the job would look more appealing.

So if you are currently in search or negotiating an offer, concentrate on how you can put together a package that will be satisfying now, in this new economy, rather than the one that existed in your last job. Think about what points you are willing to compromise on and what things you could live without. Because even if you are giving some things up if you take a certain position, you may be getting something of equal or greater value in return. Maybe it’s a shorter commute, a more flexible work schedule, or a unique perk. Maybe one job offer is not better or worse; just different.

After six long hours of testing today, the doctors once again concluded that my son has still not outgrown his allergy to milk and  needs to continue to avoid milk products in his daily diet. We joked that apparently his body still “fears the cheese” despite my counsel hours earlier. But while my son must continue to avoid dairy products, he has gained many life lessons in return because of his allergy including patience, persistence, flexibility, empathy for others with particular limitations, and the ability to compromise.

So in your job search, ask yourself what you could live without it you had to and what you in turn could gain from your compromise.