Mobilizing your network during a job search is a lot of work with many ups and downs. People don’t always react to your requests for guidance and information as you’d like them to, and many report learning who their friends really are during a search.
After coaching hundreds of job search clients, I’ve seen pretty much every networking interaction possible. Sometimes the people you most expect to help you don’t, and total strangers are incredibly open and giving. The earlier you identify the “tag lines” of people you come into contact with while networking, the faster you will be able to reframe how they can help you, and course correct in order to get the most mileage out of your contacts.
Here are the most common things people who you try to network with will say.
1. I need to reschedule our meeting. This contact commits to a meeting, but then reschedules several times because he’s overwhelmed by other responsibilities. When dealing with this type, suggest meeting at an event you know he will be attending; perhaps grabbing a few minutes at a conference you will both be attending, or offering to stop by his office 15 minutes before his first appointment.
2. I’m unhappy in my own job. Your efforts to network are usually thwarted by her complaints about her own situation. Unfortunately, this can happen when you network with colleagues at a company where you were recently downsized, or when you are talking to someone in an industry experiencing contraction. Try to be empathic and offer some sort of advice to help. Then steer the conversation toward how your contact can help you.
3. I’m not comfortable sharing my contacts with you. Maybe the person doesn’t say this outright, but it’s obvious she is reluctant to give up any names of contacts because she is protective of her network and very concerned with their opinion of her. Or perhaps she doesn’t know you well enough to feel she can share this information or vouch for your skills. Remind her that you recognize her contacts don’t necessarily know of any open jobs. Stress that you are just trying to meet people who can share valuable information about an industry, job function, or company to help validate your search targets. By lowering the expectation, you may be able to convince her that an introduction carries no risk.
4. I don’t know how I can help you. She often says something like, “I don’t know how I can help you; all my contacts are in industry X and you are looking for people in industry Y.” Remind her that you are not only interested in what her contacts do, but who they know in other industries and can introduce you to.
5. Just tell me who you want to meet. This contact only wants to help if you can tell him specifically who you want an introduction to. Try to reframe the “ask” by saying something like, “I’m not limiting myself to a specific contact; I’m interested in meeting anyone in the healthcare industry with a VP title or above in marketing.”
6. Let me get back to you. He claims he knows several people and is willing to make introductions. But when you follow up with him you hear nothing. Try one or two additional outreaches. If that doesn’t work, seek out others with similar profiles who may be more receptive to your request.
7. Feel free to post your resume to our company website. This contact immediately refers you to the company’s online job posting portal. They genuinely think they are helping you. Educate them by saying, “Thank you, but in my experience HR departments are inundated with candidates; I’m trying to get in front of the hiring manager so I can have a meaningful conversation about the value I can add.”
8. Give me your resume, and I will see what I can do. He’s the guy who says, “Give me your resume and I will send it to our HR department.” He thinks he is helping and following company protocol. But unless HR is hiring for someone with your exact skill set right now, the chances of them responding are low. Tell your contact that in your experience HR is generally a gatekeeper and you are trying to get in front of a decision maker.
9. No response at all. You call, you email, you send a message via LinkedIn, but hear nothing. When you encounter this situation, reach out to others who know the contact to see if you can find out why she hasn’t been responsive or to ask if they would be willing to reach out to her on your behalf. If you still hear nothing, move on. It may be that this person isn’t willing to help.
Part of your networking strategy will be to educate your contacts on how they can help you. But you will also meet people who get it right on the first try and provide invaluable leads. And ultimately, you will meet that person who actually has an open job and wants to fill it with you. He exists, but you often have to meet many of the others who put up roadblocks before you get to him.
Remember, a job search is a marathon, not a sprint. You will go down many paths that lead to nothing and meet many people who won’t be able to help you land that next job. But only by exploring all paths can you find the gems in your network who can help you get to the finish line faster.
