I recently saw Sam Horn, author of “Create the Perfect Pitch, Title, and Tagline for Anything” at the NRWA conference. Sam talked about the power of words when presenting ideas and discussed what she called “words to lose” and “words to use.” I started thinking about the importance of dropping “losing” words from salary negotiation conversations and replacing them with winning words to preserve the relationship the job seeker has tried so hard to build during the interview and ultimately land the job. Most negotiations fall apart because of the way job seekers ask for things, not because what they are asking for is unreasonable. Consider these words to lose and words to use:
replace “but” with “and”
I am very interested in your open position, but the salary is too low.
I am very interested in your open position and I would like to discuss the opportunity to negotiate the compensation package.
The word “but” cuts people off while the word “and” suggests continuing the conversation to find resolution.
replace “you need to” with “if you could”
In order for me to consider this position you will need to increase the signing bonus.
If you could increase the signing bonus, I would be very interested in your offer.
The words “you need to” suggest an order while “if you could” suggests working collaboratively to find a solution.
replace “can’t, because” with “sure, as soon as”
I can’t accept the current offer because the amount of stock you are offering is too low.
I am eager to accept the offer as soon as we negotiate certain aspects of the package such as the stock options.
The words “can’t because” suggest an obstacle while the words “as soon as” suggest that there is a way to bypass the issue with the other person’s help.
replace “no way” with “I hope”
There’s no way I can accept this offer given the current commission structure.
I hope there is room to negotiate the current commission structure.
The words “no way” suggest finality while the words “I hope” leave the door open for more conversation.
What words do you need to lose from your negotiation conversations?
